Exam results: How parental support shapes teen emotions
The days students receive their exam results are typically charged with strong emotions for both children and parents.
For many, grades become a source of joy and pride, but also of stress or disappointment. Psychologist Victoria Gonța, speaking on Moldova 1's "Bună Dimineața" (Good Morning) show, explained the crucial role of family support and how parents can transform this tense period into a time for learning and emotional growth.
Even if results are predictable for some children, emotions are always present. The psychologist notes that while a grade isn't the most important factor influencing an adolescent's future, its emotional impact is real and immediate.
Parental support is crucial. Adolescents who feel loved and accepted, regardless of what's written on their exam paper, are more relaxed and motivated to learn from their experiences.
"What does this support mean? 'You are my child no matter what; I love you just the way you are. Regardless of your grades, your worth doesn't decrease'," affirmed the psychologist.
Unfortunately, not all parents manage to provide this safe environment. Sometimes, the fear of being scolded or humiliated amplifies a child's stress.
"A child's stress is amplified, sometimes even tenfold, by the anxious parent who trembles and is overwhelmed by the displayed grades, or becomes aggressive over the child's score, bombarding them with endless questions and humiliations," Victoria Gonța continued.
The consequences of constant pressure are serious. Many children come to believe their worth depends strictly on performance, losing sight of essential personal qualities.
"Many children develop this association between their personality and their results. They become solely focused on performance, truly believing that their results—their performance—are all that defines their worth," the psychologist further explained.
A less-than-stellar result shouldn't demoralize a student. On the contrary, failures can become valuable lessons for the future. Victoria Gonța says that for some adolescents, a low grade can trigger healthy motivation.
"Many children who've experienced failure develop much stronger future resilience to stress than those who've never faced it," the same source indicates.
However, parents must pay attention to signs indicating excessive stress: sleep disturbances, disordered eating, and withdrawal from enjoyable activities are the first indications that the adolescent needs help.
"Destructive stress is recognized by certain symptoms. Firstly, some of the child's routine activities are disrupted. For example, sleep. The child can't sleep, is very restless, spends more time online, and can't relax. Additionally, parents can't miss signs that their child is either eating too much or too little, or refusing to eat altogether," the psychologist warned.
According to Victoria Gonța, a crucial aspect is constant communication with adolescents, not just on exam days, but throughout the entire school year. Only then can parents understand what worries their child and offer real support.
"The grade is not the child. The child is a value in themselves, they are a personality going through certain stages and can have failures," she emphasized.
Victoria Gonța reiterates that every child needs to feel unconditional love and support, especially when they make mistakes or fall. Rising from a failure, with the family by their side, remains one of the most powerful formative memories.
It's worth noting that the first results of the national gymnasium graduation exams were posted on June 24th in all schools across the country. Over 32,000 students took the exams, and the passing rate at this stage is 88.78%, approximately 6% lower than last year.
On June 26th, the Baccalaureate exam results will also be published.
Translation by Iurie Tataru
